The Op

Well… having the op is potentially getting very close now, and it’s starting to hit me just what I’m letting myself in for. OK, I just want to make it clear that I’ve got no doubts that its what I want… but… even so, the finality of it is kind of scary.

Once its done, there’s absolutely no going back. I don’t want to go back, but in life I get scared if there is no plan B… even if I won’t use it!

Things can go wrong, to be fair there is a high chance I won’t come out with the perfect designer bits that people are expecting me to have. What if things go horribly wrong? Could I deal with it if its not perfect? I’ve learnt to love me the way I am right now… is upsetting that balance worth the risk?

All the maybe’s, what if’s etc… I can really see why some T girls chose not to have the op at all and lead perfectly happy lives. Then again, if I don’t have it then I’ll feel incomplete.

Meh. Just writing what’s in my head… probably doesn’t even make sense! I’m tired, irritable and feel rough today!

Note to self… should have checked where this bus was going before I got on it! I hope its going to Brum!

 

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