Wow, it really has been a hell of a long time since I posted here! *waves* I’m still alive!

A few things recently have got me thinking specifically about gender. Now I don’t know nearly enough about gender that I should do, in fact, I know practically nothing about gender. That said, I know more about *my* gender than anyone on the outside world could possibly know.

Gender can be a big gender-y-timey-wimey blob of a thing. Everyone has differing opinions on what gender actually is, in reality people will never agree… ever. But that’s fine because it doesn’t actually matter! Whatever gender someone chooses to define themselves as is not the business of any other person on this planet.

It’s not rocket science, you don’t need to understand gender to get it. The person you are speaking to is a person, the gender that they identify as is completely irrelevant to practically any aspect of the relationship that you have with them.

Your religious views, personal opinions, your own gender, all have absolutely zero relevance to my gender, so please keep them out of it. Don’t try to tell anyone else what their gender is or isn’t, you simply will never know as much about them as they know about themselves.

That said, if you want to try to understand gender, go for it! :) I do however wish you luck! I’m probably not the right person to ask, but I can probably point you in the direction of people that get it more than I do.


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Don’t feed the trolls

(This started out as a Facebook status update, and it started as a rant about feminism, before having a bit of a realisation and started typing this instead, and before I knew it, it was too long for Facebook!)

OK, so here’s the deal as I see it. Most people who go about their day to day life, don’t care, they don’t care about trans people, they don’t care about homosexuals. That’s not caring in a good way, as in, it makes no difference to them, they just see us as people… which is good, yes?

Our biggest fight, from what I can see is small groups of people on a mission, within larger groups. The majority of christian’s are ok, the majority of feminists, are ok, the majority of teenagers, are ok… I could go on! Yet, we end up listening and taking offence from the (frankly) idiots in the minority. What about if *we* started to not care? You know, the kind of “don’t feed the troll” logic.

Most people out there who don’t care about us, also don’t care about them, I suspect that a large proportion of their audience is us, feeding and fuelling them. A flame will go out without oxygen, surely its time we turned the fight to metaphorically starve them of oxygen?

Maybe I’m being too sensible when I say that we’ll never have 100% acceptance, there will always be a few out there that will never accept, it’s just the way that humans are, but for those few, if they’ve got no audience, then there is a massively reduced problem.

Show the world that we are normal and harmless, and the world (over time) will more and more discount the opinions of the ever diminishing minority.

That’s just my take on things anyway!



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I’m privileged

I posted something similar elsewhere, but here is a version for my blog :-)

Around various communities that I’m in, the word privilege thrown about as a bad thing, making out that some groups are more privileged than others. I don’t doubt that this is true, to be fair, we are all privileged in some way. I don’t want to rant about how this is just casually used in arguments with no real backing, I want to say what privilege is to me.

I am privileged to be able to walk down the street and not get any hassle, to not have to worry about *where* I go, or when I go there. There are so many people like me that haven’t been afforded that luxury.

I am privileged that I don’t have to hide the life that I lead, yet I still don’t push it in peoples faces, hence me rewording this post. Some people have to live the lifestyle they enjoy in private.

I am privileged to make the choices that I want to make, do the things that I want to do. People moan about the UK and what it’s becoming, but it’s a hell of a lot better than so many countries out there to live in for freedom.

I am privileged to pass as a girl. I don’t believe in my heart that I do, I don’t see a girl when I look in the mirror. But people around me tell me that I do, so I must trust them.

I am privileged for the advice I am given, even if I’m sometimes useless at taking it. It matters to me that people care about me enough to give it, it would be all to easy for people to give up on me!

I am privileged for friends from all walks of life. You don’t have to be a specific kind of person to be awesome, and I love you regardless of what slot in my life you fit into.

I am privileged to have the freedom to make my own mistakes, to look like an idiot, and to come out of anything a stronger person.

Not so long ago that I was struggling to find my place, I am privileged to now be finding it.

It’s a privilege to me to have people close to me. I really do appreciate that, lots. Without knowing it, the people around me save my life, very often.

This is what privilege really is.



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Updated Video: From A to B – My Transition

I have added some earlier pictures to the beginning of this :-)



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Gender Identity

One of my best friends posted this on their blog, and I wanted to share it :-) I can’t link to it as its not really a public blog, but she’s let me copy and paste this particular post (excuse the spelling)…

I have a fantastic transexual friend. I would consider her to be my rock in a lot of my life.I was talking to her last night about my ‘experience’ at the GUM clinic yesterday when i went in to get my contraception checked.

I arrived at the clinic and was handed a form so I could get an STI check at the same time. I was answering all the usual questions Name, Age, DOB ect. when the question of sex arrose. Now here there were only two options. I had two issus with this… hence this blog..

Firstly on the most simple level someone who is transexual (not transvestite or a cross-dresser) is considered and treated as a female. It says female on their passport and even on their birth certificate. however depending on where they are in their transition they may still have male genitalia meaing that they would have to see a Dr who is able to perform the tests on a male. This imediatly puts them in an awquard possition. they have to tick the box that says male hence outing themselves as a transexual to the clinic staff, who are bound to ask questions as to why they are ticking the male box when they clearly look and act like a women.

My second issue derives from the first. Why in the 21st century do I have to identify as male or female, straight, Bi or Gay. I mean why is it not socially acceptable and commom for people to identify as neither male and female. I should guess that a siginificant portion of the population is Trans of some variety. I mean there are the common ones that are acceptable such as Transexual, Transvestite, and Drag queens and Kings. But these are all labels meaning that you have to pick one. In todays socienty you have to fit into a box, people have gone to war over less. I am proud to not feel the need to label myself, I am me that is all I shouldnt have to be male or female or gay and straight. I want to be gener neutral, but this is not sociably acceptable. If I want to cut my hair short and spiky and wear baggy jeans and a football top society would label me a butch lesbian. If I grow my hair long and wear pretty dresses society labels me as a barbie- type a typical hetrosexual woman. Well news flash I am still me.

Labels are not one size fits all…. the classic exaple of this in society are one size fits all clothes. I know you have all done it at some point brought a top that says one size fits all. How did that work out for you? I would put money on it either being far to baggy or tight.. to short or to long… This is proof that labels designed to fit everyone dont work even in the simplest terms. I when forced to would pick the following labels to descibe me-:

I am a gender fluid (meaning that I identify as both a male or female at any given point I mainly identify as a female in public) sexualy I guess I would have to identify as pansexual (meaning I am capable of finding anybody of any sex sexually attactive)

I dont like the labels at all thou they are like that one size fits all tee-shirt they dont fit properly and dont realy decribe me.

I am creating a new label-:

I just thought it was totally awesome and wanted to share it. Nothing at all to do with the fact I can’t be bothered to write something myself! 😉



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Did I time it right?

My first proper time out!

I transitioned nearly 4 years ago back in 2008, my “big outing” was on my 23rd birthday and yes, I looked terrible… but lets face it, we’ve all been there once! I had it all prepared, I’d let everyone close to me know what was happening, even sending a mass-message to everyone on Facebook pointing out that they might notice something a little bit different about me! All this came after years and years of saying that I was going to do it, but did I get the timing right? Do I think that I should have actually transitioned earlier?

Not a chance! I think I got the timing more or less perfect. It was at a point where I was becoming more stable. I don’t think I could have coped with transitioning at the same time as going through that dark time in my life that I’d had in the years before that. At first, the transition wasn’t easy, while I had very little trouble from other people, there is still that level of self conciousness to deal with, which remained until I gained enough confidence to have another “sod it” moment (my life seems to be defined by a series of “sod it” moments!). The capacity in my mind at the time just wasn’t there to deal with *another* thing going on on top of all that!


There are a lot of people that say they wish they’d done it sooner, and there are a lot of people that do it sooner, but everyone is different. If I’d have left it much longer, then I’d probably be saying now that I should have transitioned earlier.

And then there is the question, would I have preferred it if I’d just been born a girl? I kind of think both ways with this one… Yes, perhaps it may have made my life a little bit easier, but equally, I look back and despite all the rubbish I’ve been through to get to where I am now… a large part of my journey to get here has been fun and enjoyable, and to be fair has made me a much better and person!

So basically, I think I’ve got it right, and I don’t think that I’d go back and really change that much about how I got here, even if I had a chance to. I’ve made it here now, and I guess that in the grand scheme of things, that’s all that really matters.

Afterthought: Taking the journey this way, has made me learn a lot about other people in the world, which has given me some valuable lessons in recent times!



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