Don’t feed the trolls

(This started out as a Facebook status update, and it started as a rant about feminism, before having a bit of a realisation and started typing this instead, and before I knew it, it was too long for Facebook!)

OK, so here’s the deal as I see it. Most people who go about their day to day life, don’t care, they don’t care about trans people, they don’t care about homosexuals. That’s not caring in a good way, as in, it makes no difference to them, they just see us as people… which is good, yes?

Our biggest fight, from what I can see is small groups of people on a mission, within larger groups. The majority of christian’s are ok, the majority of feminists, are ok, the majority of teenagers, are ok… I could go on! Yet, we end up listening and taking offence from the (frankly) idiots in the minority. What about if *we* started to not care? You know, the kind of “don’t feed the troll” logic.

Most people out there who don’t care about us, also don’t care about them, I suspect that a large proportion of their audience is us, feeding and fuelling them. A flame will go out without oxygen, surely its time we turned the fight to metaphorically starve them of oxygen?

Maybe I’m being too sensible when I say that we’ll never have 100% acceptance, there will always be a few out there that will never accept, it’s just the way that humans are, but for those few, if they’ve got no audience, then there is a massively reduced problem.

Show the world that we are normal and harmless, and the world (over time) will more and more discount the opinions of the ever diminishing minority.

That’s just my take on things anyway!



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5 Responses to “Don’t feed the trolls”
  1. Becky says:

    Yay you! So many people in the trans community need to understand this very point. You say it so well.

  2. CS says:

    I really don’t think this is true; the groups you’re talking about are just the boils, not the main infection. So to speak. Cissexism is big and sprawling and structural, it’s not limited to hate groups: it’s the rigamarole and gatekeeping around transition, it’s the obligatory male/female tickyboxes on every form, it’s widespread sniggering and outrage over trans* bodies. Even if this would reduce the voices of outright hate groups, it wouldn’t solve the problem.

    • jeniuk says:

      But (speaking from the UK), there isn’t that much rigamorole and gatekeeping around transition anymore! It is a very big step to take, so it’s never going to be as easy as just flicking a switch to transition… I’d never want it to be that easy. But it’s certainly not difficult if you’re serious about it!

      I definitely don’t see widespread sniggering about trans bodies, except from the small minority who just don’t get it yet… as we become more visible, they’ll get it.

      On my own experiences (obviously, these are the only experiences I can comment on), I have come across very little of what you’ve commented on. I interpret what you say as the main infection being the general population? If I have interpreted that correctly, then I have to strongly disagree with you. The majority of the general population (of the UK) are good, kind, honest and thoughtful people. I fear that you may be letting the actions of the minority spear your opinion of the majority.

      I have tried to clarify how I’ve interpreted your comment where I can, but if you feel that I have misinterpreted, please do let me know!

  3. pasupatidasi says:

    agree that the cis-priveleged social structure will never quite accept transfolk at their word as they self-define, until and unless major changes are made to the dominant paradigm, and even then a minority will continue to be bigots. just as with racism.

    that there may be fewer who actually harbor negative opinions about trans-issues than there seem to be, is a point i hope will one day be true, but think their numbers may be more than one can say, simply because trans-issues are rarely covered and when dealt with are marginalised. it is easy to hold onto bigoted views if challenges to one’s world view are rare.

    mainstream media and programmes on t.v. tend only to focus on things that can be sensationalised. so we will know that we have “made it” when it is no longer newsworthy to be transgender.

    as for not feeding the trolls, they seem to feed themselves with or without help from their intended targets.

    all of this said, who the hell cares! being who we are despite those who wish we would disappear seems a pretty good way to live life

  4. What we are talking about is the capacity to love fellow human beings. The people we all meet in day to day situations we generally tolerate, if this wasn’t the case there would be social breakdown and chaos, and yes sometimes for one reason or another that happens even here in our country.
    My capacity to love is limited, I would find it difficult to love certain people, be it violent criminals or crooked politicians. Notice they are examples of people who act outside of what is normally socially acceptable. Now there’s the rub, you see transgender is a state of being, being true to an over-riding feeling of identity. So what is it that causes animosity, well its mostly fear and ignorance.
    Different societies hold different fears, and express sometimes prejudices based on outmoded and outdated religious interpretations. Strange this one as all the religions I have studied actually teach love, tolerance and understanding. Its just some human beings distort the truth and spread fear and lies. That’s free will at work. If there wasn’t the ongoing bad in some people, no one would be called upon to do good acts of love and self sacrifice. Its the existence of opposites. Ever thought what a Utopian society would be like. Well read up on Sir Francis Bacon (the real author of the works of Shakespear), he wrote a seminal work on the subject. Yes freedoms vary all over this planet, and yes slowly peoples capacity for tolerance is ever increasing, with 7 billion inhabitants we need this capacity to get along. Just witness the population density in some of the worlds big cities. So there is no monopoly on love, sometimes we all fail to love when we should, be honest. Its the one vital ingredient that holds everything for all of us together, and where its completely absent, people live in hellish situations. If you want to understand privilege, travel the world for that understanding, and be grateful for having been born into your world. That’s just the way I see it , and its an opinion, that’s all, and I did not intend to offend anyone who holds just as valid but different point of view.

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