Thing’s I’ve learnt #4 – Planning is overrated!

I’m doing a series of posts, alongside anything I may normally post… Each week I’ll pick a new topic, and post 7 mini-blogs (1 each day) in relation to that topic. For this first week, its 7 things I’ve learnt about life.

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Things I’ve learnt #4
Planning is overrated!

Some people spend their whole life planning, spending so much time on the plan that they never actually get a chance to put it into action! Just have a vague idea of where you want to go or what you want to achieve… and go for it! That way, if your outlook changes… you don’t have to re-plan your whole life!

I seem to have got a reputation for being disorganised, yet I seem to achieve what I want out of life. That’s because I can see the end goal of what I want out of life, I can kind of see how I’ve got there, but I’ve only got the immediate steps planned out. Being spontaneous is more fun anyway!

 

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Thing’s I’ve learnt #3 – You don’t need to become a health freak to lose weight

I’m doing a series of posts, alongside anything I may normally post… Each week I’ll pick a new topic, and post 7 mini-blogs (1 each day) in relation to that topic. For this first week, its 7 things I’ve learnt about life.

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Things I’ve learnt #3
You don’t need to become a health freak to lose weight

I’m a bit sick of hearing about these “amazing diets” that “always work without fail” – no! Diet’s are pointless, and if we are honest… hell! Why should I not eat chocolate fudge cake just because I want to lose weight?

Here’s my diet – Eat whatever you want, but not too much of it! I eat chocolate, chips, Big Mac’s, everything you’d consider unhealthy… but I try not to go too mad. Yes I’m still a bit heaver than I’d like to be, but the weight is going down rather than up. Now if I over-indulge, then I pay the price and the weight goes up!

It is so simple… if everyone lived by this logic, we’d be so much healthier!

 

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Thing’s I’ve learnt #2 – Restart your computer – It does actually fix most problems!

I’m doing a series of posts, alongside anything I may normally post… Each week I’ll pick a new topic, and post 7 mini-blogs (1 each day) in relation to that topic. For this first week, its 7 things I’ve learnt about life.

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Things I’ve learnt #2
Restart your computer – It does actually fix most problems!

In my job, I’ve ended up doing a lot of technical support, which is odd considering I’m a bit of a techophobe! But you’ll seriously be surprised at what problems can be fixed with a restart! It’s not just computers either… restart your router if the internet isn’t working, turn your phone off and on if it’s borked etc…

If something breaks, now my first reaction is always to restart, and usually the problem goes away. Just stop stressing and live by this simple rule! Only if a restart doesn’t work, then phone somebody up and moan, but only after checking its plugged in (yes… that happens a lot!)

Don’t get me started on it not being plugged in!

 

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My Changing Outlook

No, I’m not upgrading my version of Microsoft Outlook, this is about my changing outlook on the world out there, how it functions and how I feel about it. It’s hard to think that it wasn’t that long ago I was young, sweet, innocent, probably even classed as quite narrow minded.

But these days, how I see the world is so much different, what I want to get out of life has changed. A few people reading this will probably know me from back at school (stop looking for Jen in your head… she wasn’t there then!), and lets face it, I don’t think I was known for radical viewpoints or anything like that! Just plodding along with whatever was considered to be fairly normal at the time.

In total contrast, now, I totally go against the grain of what most people consider to be “normal”. I don’t plan to do this… I didn’t wake up one morning and think to my self “you know what, I fancy doing things a bit different today!” It’s just happened over time, I’ve had my eyes opened to so many alternative viewpoints… to be fair some of them are crazy and totally not for me, but some I do find myself thinking “you know what, that actually makes a lot of sense”, and I’ve never thought about it before, purely because I didn’t really know about it before.

Take for example, me and relationships, I won’t go into detail about it now, because to be fair – that’s a whole post of its own! But I consider myself to be polyamorous (most people know that about me these days… I don’t hide it). Why? This is the way I look at it, in life do you only ever love one person? Rarely! What if the love for those people actually occurred at the same time? I’m on a path where I can be open and honest with everyone, I don’t need to get jealous about tiny little things and I don’t particularly need to worry or be paranoid.

Woah! That’s not Jen is it? Yes, that’s me and it is perfect for me and people that are in my life. I’m not in this life to impress anyone or force them to do things my way, it’s not for everyone (and to be fair, most people I know aren’t poly), in the same way that homosexuality isn’t for everyone… but that’s the beauty of life, everyone is different, everyone does things a little differently, and some people might find things weird, but I guarantee that there is some aspect of *your* life that most people will find weird… good! It shows you are being yourself (In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a big fan of being yourself!)

I will try to do a proper post on poly pretty soon, I’ve only included it in here as an example of one of the ways that my outlook has matured, and I’ve realised that there are more ways to live your life!

 

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Thing’s I’ve learnt #1 – The human species is a lot nicer than people make out

I’m doing a series of posts, alongside anything I may normally post… Each week I’ll pick a new topic, and post 7 mini-blogs (1 each day) in relation to that topic. For this first week, its 7 things I’ve learnt about life.

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Things I’ve learnt #1
The human species is a lot nicer than people make out

Let’s face it, it’s fairly easy to presume that human’s are totally evil, based on what you hear in the news. But, we aren’t all that bad! The majority of people you meet in day to day life are usually sane, normal and friendly… hell, you can even speak to some of those!

Though I do dislike the way things seem to be in this country, we don’t communicate with people we meet randomly in person… you know, that guy you sit next to on the train, the lady who serves you in the shop? Get over it! Strike up a conversation… you’ll be amazed!

 

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Gender Identity

One of my best friends posted this on their blog, and I wanted to share it :-) I can’t link to it as its not really a public blog, but she’s let me copy and paste this particular post (excuse the spelling)…


I have a fantastic transexual friend. I would consider her to be my rock in a lot of my life.I was talking to her last night about my ‘experience’ at the GUM clinic yesterday when i went in to get my contraception checked.

I arrived at the clinic and was handed a form so I could get an STI check at the same time. I was answering all the usual questions Name, Age, DOB ect. when the question of sex arrose. Now here there were only two options. I had two issus with this… hence this blog..

Firstly on the most simple level someone who is transexual (not transvestite or a cross-dresser) is considered and treated as a female. It says female on their passport and even on their birth certificate. however depending on where they are in their transition they may still have male genitalia meaing that they would have to see a Dr who is able to perform the tests on a male. This imediatly puts them in an awquard possition. they have to tick the box that says male hence outing themselves as a transexual to the clinic staff, who are bound to ask questions as to why they are ticking the male box when they clearly look and act like a women.

My second issue derives from the first. Why in the 21st century do I have to identify as male or female, straight, Bi or Gay. I mean why is it not socially acceptable and commom for people to identify as neither male and female. I should guess that a siginificant portion of the population is Trans of some variety. I mean there are the common ones that are acceptable such as Transexual, Transvestite, and Drag queens and Kings. But these are all labels meaning that you have to pick one. In todays socienty you have to fit into a box, people have gone to war over less. I am proud to not feel the need to label myself, I am me that is all I shouldnt have to be male or female or gay and straight. I want to be gener neutral, but this is not sociably acceptable. If I want to cut my hair short and spiky and wear baggy jeans and a football top society would label me a butch lesbian. If I grow my hair long and wear pretty dresses society labels me as a barbie- type a typical hetrosexual woman. Well news flash I am still me.

Labels are not one size fits all…. the classic exaple of this in society are one size fits all clothes. I know you have all done it at some point brought a top that says one size fits all. How did that work out for you? I would put money on it either being far to baggy or tight.. to short or to long… This is proof that labels designed to fit everyone dont work even in the simplest terms. I when forced to would pick the following labels to descibe me-:

I am a gender fluid (meaning that I identify as both a male or female at any given point I mainly identify as a female in public) sexualy I guess I would have to identify as pansexual (meaning I am capable of finding anybody of any sex sexually attactive)

I dont like the labels at all thou they are like that one size fits all tee-shirt they dont fit properly and dont realy decribe me.

I am creating a new label-:
ME!!


I just thought it was totally awesome and wanted to share it. Nothing at all to do with the fact I can’t be bothered to write something myself! 😉

 

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Did I time it right?

My first proper time out!

I transitioned nearly 4 years ago back in 2008, my “big outing” was on my 23rd birthday and yes, I looked terrible… but lets face it, we’ve all been there once! I had it all prepared, I’d let everyone close to me know what was happening, even sending a mass-message to everyone on Facebook pointing out that they might notice something a little bit different about me! All this came after years and years of saying that I was going to do it, but did I get the timing right? Do I think that I should have actually transitioned earlier?

Not a chance! I think I got the timing more or less perfect. It was at a point where I was becoming more stable. I don’t think I could have coped with transitioning at the same time as going through that dark time in my life that I’d had in the years before that. At first, the transition wasn’t easy, while I had very little trouble from other people, there is still that level of self conciousness to deal with, which remained until I gained enough confidence to have another “sod it” moment (my life seems to be defined by a series of “sod it” moments!). The capacity in my mind at the time just wasn’t there to deal with *another* thing going on on top of all that!

Progress?

There are a lot of people that say they wish they’d done it sooner, and there are a lot of people that do it sooner, but everyone is different. If I’d have left it much longer, then I’d probably be saying now that I should have transitioned earlier.

And then there is the question, would I have preferred it if I’d just been born a girl? I kind of think both ways with this one… Yes, perhaps it may have made my life a little bit easier, but equally, I look back and despite all the rubbish I’ve been through to get to where I am now… a large part of my journey to get here has been fun and enjoyable, and to be fair has made me a much better and person!

So basically, I think I’ve got it right, and I don’t think that I’d go back and really change that much about how I got here, even if I had a chance to. I’ve made it here now, and I guess that in the grand scheme of things, that’s all that really matters.

Afterthought: Taking the journey this way, has made me learn a lot about other people in the world, which has given me some valuable lessons in recent times!

 

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Sexuality and Gender

Hello from this freezing cold bus into Birmingham! My feet are about to fall off from frostbite! On the plus side… it does look pretty out there :o)

One thing that I get asked a lot is “so do you like guys or girls?” I think I need to start replying with “yes I do!”. I like both, yet I’m not bisexual.

A person’s gender means absolutely nothing to me, it’s just another one of those boxes that people like to make sure are ticked. I’ve got to know so many people that can’t really be defined by a two box gender definition, the option of “male” and “female” just doesn’t make a lot of sense anymore!

There are both male and female characteristics that I do find myself getting attracted to at different times, but since half the time they are in the opposite “gender” to where you’d expect to find them, it just confuses the definition!

So basically, and I think I’ve said this before… I love the person, not the gender.

 

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Memory Lane via LiveJournal

In reality, I’ve come such a long way since the “old days”

I was prompted to read through my old LiveJournal’s by someone today, all 3 of them! It made for pretty depressing reading really, I can’t believe how bad I actually got (and thats not forgetting that in my darkest times, I never even updated at all… that explains the big gaps). I struggled to find *any* positive posts in them.

I do wonder how anybody managed to put up with me in that time!

There was one comment though that I’ve just read, and, I didn’t realise it at the time, but it’s so true!

One day you will look back on this time in your life and you’ll see it in a different way. Rather than see things as impossible, for now, see them as a challenge that is accomplishable.

You know what? You were right, I am looking back at that time in my life, and I do see it in a completely different way. I look at it now as a building block of what I am today, without all the rubbish I’ve had in my life, I would probably still be that weak, quiet and shy person I was back in school. I’ve learnt to be strong, I’ve learnt to speak up, and I’ve learnt to come out of my shell. I look at it as a period when I found out who my true friends were, the friends that *did* stick by me, no matter what.

My LJ’s were friends only, and I kept that list rather short… everyone I had on there, will probably read this and you know who you are. Thank-you for the support you gave me, some of the comments are *really* touching and I’m glad I have been back through to read it all.

Oh, and there is a recurring pattern in those entries that still existed until recently… my car was never really good at working, even 5 years ago! 😉

 

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Changes

OK, so this isn’t a video I’m afraid, but I will be doing more of those!

Had a convo with a friend recently about how much I’ve changed. Here’s the thing, I’ve changed a lot, but only on the surface, underneath I’m still the same person I have always been.

I’ve still got that same lack of confidence I’ve always had, if you look closely you can spot it. I’ve just learnt to hide it the best I can in order to survive, you can’t seem to get anywhere without seeming confident any more :(

I’ve still got a completely irrational phobia of Bristol, I’m scared of falling asleep on the train back from Manchester and ending up at Bristol Temple Meads! I could actually think of nothing worse!

I still rely on people around me far too much. OK so I used to generally just rely on a single person, at least now I rely on lots of different people… but I like that, it’s nice to have people around you who you can rely on :-)

I still enjoy visiting various places around the country, the only difference is that now I don’t have my Fiesta to keep me company :-( Instead, I have to just deal with coach C, seat 52, which I think Crosscountry should just give in and name after me! I actually travel a hell of a lot more now than when I did have a car, though its been over a year since I’ve been to Wales… I think this needs to change!

Basically, I’m not Jeni 2.0, I’m Jeni 1.5… still the same but with lots of exciting new features!

Oh, and don’t forget… tomorrow is National Chocolate Cake Day!


Chocolate Cake Day

When : Always January 27th

Chocolate Cake Day is a a chocolate lovers delight, and a day to eat cake. Why this a day to “bake your chocolate cake….and eat it, too!”

On this day, a white or yellow cake will not do. Nor, will part chocolate, part white suffice. It must be chocolate, all chocolate. You can make milk chocolate, dark chocolate, fudge, or any other type of chocolate cake.

The only reference to Chocolate Day on the Internet is from Ecard and calendar websites. This might lead you to conclude that this as a day for(and by) the Ecard companies. But, we know better. This day is for you, and all chocolate lovers.

There are three objectives of Chocolate Cake Day: To bake a chocolate cake. To decorate a chocolate cake. And, to eat a chocolate cake. Of course, if you are to busy to bake or decorate a cake, then just eating a chocolate cake will certainly do!

Origin of Chocolate Cake Day:

Our extensive research did not find the creator, or the origin of this day. Perhaps, it was baker. Perhaps, it was a food company. Most likely, it was a chocolate cake…eater!


[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHFFol-8REI]

 

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Saturday Night

OK, so it’s Saturday night, and I’m sat at home listening to My Chemical Romance… so shoot me! I’m allowed a break once in a while! Long time no see, its been a bit busy I’m afraid.

Where am I these days? Still living in the same place, but moving up to that Manchester in 3 weeks, I am rather excited about this! It’s about time I finally upped and properly left the midlands. I’ve got so much planned, so many changes to make, and so many different varieties of chocolate fudge cake to try!

So what am I doing? Still making the web work, and making tills work, and I’m going to carry on doing this! I’ve had to cut down the social life quite a lot recently, its been killing me! Though I have one of those horrible feelings that once I move, I’ll be out all the time again! Still meeting lots of new people and making loads of new fabtastic friends (if you missed it, awesome is such a 2011 word, 2012 is for fabtasticness!)

I am going to miss everyone down here when I move, both new and old friends. I will still be back though, quite often as it turns out… all to do with work, so its kind of a win win situation!

Anyway, enough about me, here’s a bit more about me… I am going to put off having the op! I still don’t think I’ve properly explored the body I have now, I don’t *need* a bit of surgery to make me a woman – surgery is a rather large thing, and a lot can go wrong with it. I am much better off waiting, there is nothing to stop me having it in the future if I decide that is what I want.

This isn’t me saying that I want to go back to being a man… hell no, I could never do that! I think I’m just pretty happy where I am right now, and I want to go with the flow a bit and see where it takes me, putting things off by a few years is not going to hurt (unless they ban anaesthetics for this kind of thing… then it will hurt *lots*)

My opinions on life have changed, my definition of me has become a lot more fluid recently, I just need to take stock and make a new plan :-)

And on that bombshell…

 

 

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Why the trans community annoys me

This is going to be a bit of a rant I’m afraid, it’s all about one word… “tranny”

If there is one word that will divide a community, this is it. I describe myself as a tranny, I’m very happy being a tranny, in fact I love being a tranny. Now, some trans people dislike this word… so I don’t refer to others as a tranny (unless they feel like me!)

Yet, those that dislike it, seem to want to ram it down peoples throats that we shouldn’t ever use that word, that its evil and that the world will end! Newsflash: things are different these days! In general us youngens have reclaimed the word… we don’t use it with the evil meaning it once had, we use it in a fun “we are comfortable with who we are” kind of way.

Channel 4’s documentary ‘My Transexual Summer’ has highlighted this. Now, I think that the first episode was very very good and portrayed us very well. But shock horror, a transgendered person referred to *themselves* as a tranny, so now half the community is up in arms and portraying the show to be bad for the community.

Let us call ourselves what we want, it doesn’t have to affect you. There are bigger fish to fry out there than someone calling themselves a tranny!

This is why I usually avoid the trans community, I find the rest of the world a more friendly place, and I know I’m not the only trans person to feel that way.

Ok I’m done!

 

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Bad days

The world isn’t always the fantastic place I make it out to be, sometimes I still have bad days because I’m only human. On those bad days all I can do is put a smile on my face and plough through. Music, innocent comments, bad memories can all set me off.

It would be nice if the bad days weren’t there but its all part of the process that builds me up as a person. I’m much better for having been through the crap that I have in the past and wouldn’t go back and change it.

But… things get better… life gets awesome!

 

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Chocolate Fudge Cake

It’s official… chocolate fudge cake is the most evil thing in the world! I am trying to be good and healthy so I can lose some weight… but then I go somewhere with chocolate fudge cake on the menu, it only ends one way!

Fat fat fat :(

Oh well, I’ll start the diet again tomorrow!

 

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Awesome news

Sorry for not updating… I’ve been very ill and very busy!

Anyway, I have awesome news… I’ve got a date for my op! 27th March, only 5 months… eek! It feels so good to know that its actually finally going to happen, and I can start getting on with my life!

I’ll have a week in hospital in that London, bored as anything… come visit me! But no, I won’t let you test it 😉

 

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