Emotional Day

Sorry for hardly posting, but I don’t want to be one of those people that post’s for the sake of it, I’ll only post when I have something to post about.

Yesterday was an emotional day for me, it was the day I was supposed to have my operation, if things would have happened according to the original plan. I really didn’t think that it would affect me that emotionally, but it did. I had so many “what if’s” going through my head… what if I would have had the operation, etc?

It was bound to happen to be fair, it was supposed to be one of the biggest days of my life, it was a day that I was planning so long for, a day that in theory would have completed the process. So why didn’t it happen?

There wasn’t a chance that I could go through with it if there was doubts in my head about if it was what I wanted. I’ve said before that I would *never* go back to being a man, and I stand by that. But, why should I have an operation to validate who I am? Doing thing’s like that has never been the way that I’ve lived my life, so why should it be any different?

Social norms tell us that if you are transsexual, you must transition, then have a big major operation to change the outer parts of your body. No, this is completely wrong! For some people, that may be the way that they wish to go, and so they should. But for others, we don’t feel the need to take such a drastic course of action… I want to lead my life the way that I want it, and I want to have my body the way that I want it, I will not be pressurised by “social norms” to do things that I don’t actually want to do, and nobody should ever have to feel that way.

I am so glad that I saw that there was an alternative, and that the alternative was possible, before I ended up making the biggest mistake of my life, on what would have been the biggest day of my life. Again, I’ve said before that right now, I’m happy as I am, very happy, and I don’t need to change that!

But I still can’t help but wonder, what if…?

 

4 Comments

Tags:

Back to Blogging

Ay up! It’s been a while hasn’t it? The move threw me completely out of sync… but now I’m getting back in sync with my first blog from sunny Manchester!

The move went really well… almost too well! Just about settled in and I’ve resumed my usual antics of being out all the time! I haven’t completely abandoned Birmingham… still down there for a few days a few times a month… you lot don’t get rid of me that easily!

It’s a different life up here… bearing in mind that I’m from a little village near a little town… its a shock to the system! I can stay out late and still get home, this is completely awesome!

I was worried that I’d struggle to be motivated enough to work from home… but it’s working out really well :) as far as customers are concerned… I’m in the “Manchester office”

I have without a doubt made the right decision to come up here… I needed to properly get away from the midlands, to break that grip that it gets around you!

The most different thing however, its cold and people talk funny!

Anyway, just an update really so you all know that I’m not dead! Knocking together a video blog of the move that I’ll put up at some point! Much love to you all!

 

Leave a Comment

Tags: ,
   
%d bloggers like this: