Bad days

The world isn’t always the fantastic place I make it out to be, sometimes I still have bad days because I’m only human. On those bad days all I can do is put a smile on my face and plough through. Music, innocent comments, bad memories can all set me off.

It would be nice if the bad days weren’t there but its all part of the process that builds me up as a person. I’m much better for having been through the crap that I have in the past and wouldn’t go back and change it.

But… things get better… life gets awesome!

 

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Chocolate Fudge Cake

It’s official… chocolate fudge cake is the most evil thing in the world! I am trying to be good and healthy so I can lose some weight… but then I go somewhere with chocolate fudge cake on the menu, it only ends one way!

Fat fat fat :(

Oh well, I’ll start the diet again tomorrow!

 

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Awesome news

Sorry for not updating… I’ve been very ill and very busy!

Anyway, I have awesome news… I’ve got a date for my op! 27th March, only 5 months… eek! It feels so good to know that its actually finally going to happen, and I can start getting on with my life!

I’ll have a week in hospital in that London, bored as anything… come visit me! But no, I won’t let you test it 😉

 

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That NHS thing

Yeah sorry.. its been one of those weekends… busy and ill! I hope you didn’t get too used to daily posts… I’m cutting back to 3 a week now! Got a couple of other projects on the go now.

Anyway, everyone loves the NHS right? Wait, who’s that screaming in the back row? Come on! They aren’t that bad… for the majority they do good(ish). Just like anything else, you only ever hear the bad stories and that leads everyone to believe that they are evil!

Well, my NHS story is average. Nothing particularly bad, nothing particularly good… but to be fair, isn’t that what its all about? Yes, perhaps its taken a bit longer than it should do to get this far, but there are an awful lot of people taking my journey too, so its only to be expected!

What I can say though, is the people along the way have been fantastic, those people that generally take all the stick when things go wrong… do people care when things are good? My doctor has been perfect throughout my transition. Yes, she didn’t have a clue what to do at first, but she made a big effort to find out and make things happen :)

Yes, rubbish happens, but remember its only a small minority of cases you ever hear about, so don’t get put off. My opinion may change if I have the op and find they’ve put the hole in my elbow, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it!

Back again Wednesday :)

 

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The Op

Well… having the op is potentially getting very close now, and it’s starting to hit me just what I’m letting myself in for. OK, I just want to make it clear that I’ve got no doubts that its what I want… but… even so, the finality of it is kind of scary.

Once its done, there’s absolutely no going back. I don’t want to go back, but in life I get scared if there is no plan B… even if I won’t use it!

Things can go wrong, to be fair there is a high chance I won’t come out with the perfect designer bits that people are expecting me to have. What if things go horribly wrong? Could I deal with it if its not perfect? I’ve learnt to love me the way I am right now… is upsetting that balance worth the risk?

All the maybe’s, what if’s etc… I can really see why some T girls chose not to have the op at all and lead perfectly happy lives. Then again, if I don’t have it then I’ll feel incomplete.

Meh. Just writing what’s in my head… probably doesn’t even make sense! I’m tired, irritable and feel rough today!

Note to self… should have checked where this bus was going before I got on it! I hope its going to Brum!

 

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Friends

Ok, I’ve just posted yesterday’s so I may as well start writing todays, even though you won’t read it until… now… and damn I just let my secret out again. Note to self stop doing that!

Friends are a massively important part of my life.. and its something I actually keep harping on about it! They are probably sick to death of hearing how amazing they are… so I won’t say it :o)

Friends are what drag you through this life… sometimes against your will… sometimes kicking and screaming… sometimes holding your hand… and sometimes you are the one dragging them along! But that’s what its all about really :)

I’d have been a gonner a long time ago if it wasn’t for the people around me… People can save your life without them ever realising it, and sometimes all it takes is a hug!

People do come and go all the time, but a true friend is one who you can go without speaking to for months, even years… pick up the phone and it’ll be like it was only last week you spoke. (Yes I know there is a Facebook group with that name… that’s where I stole it from! Well it is awesome!)

 

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Modern technology!

It’s amazing how times change… last time I had a blog I could only update it if I was physically sat at my computer pressing an enter key. These days its awesome… all my posts over the weekend I wrote on Thursday night and let them go automatically. Oops.. now I’ve let you all know my lazy secret! Today I realised I haven’t got one on the go and hey presto… I’m sat on the train making it happen!

Anyway, maybe I should actually post something with substance!

… or not… I’d be lying if I said I could be bothered! This is just a quick one really to see if this newfangled technology actually works! I guess if you read this then it has worked!

I promise I’ll post something deep and meaningful tomorrow! I’ve got a longer journey to write it on!

And yes I’m generally about 6 years behind in tech!

 

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Lazy Tranny

Because lets face it, I can look pretty good even when I don't make an effort!

So I’m a self confessed “lazy tranny”.

Basically, I don’t make an effort when it comes to how I look, I do the least amount possible. But, you know what? In its own way, it works. When it comes to makeup, I just put on a little bit of foundation and maybe a bit of mascara.. if I even bother with makeup at all. My hair, most of the time I just tie it back. When it comes to clothes, you’ll more than likely just find me in a hoody and jeans.

Some people may go as far as saying that I should have been born a man!

OK so I made a little bit of effort here

Why do I not bother? Because you don’t actually need to make that much of an effort to look great. Less is more and all that! Lots of T girls put in lots of effort, and so often that’s what gives them away. Go and take a walk around town and look at the girls… in most cases, how much effort do you think they’ve actually put in? Not that much!

Don’t get me wrong, I do sometimes make an effort… I might stretch to a bit of eye shadow! I still haven’t got the hang of eye liner… its just evil! Lippy? Nah… far too much effort! And have you tried sorting out *this* much hair? Not happening any time soon!

Come over to the lazy side! It’s fun and you get an extra hour in bed each morning… now that makes it worthwhile!

 

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Life without wheels

I no longer have my Fiesta, I haven’t had it for almost 2 months. If you knew me, you knew that I loved Alex, my poor Fiesta. He was well used (and abused!), died with 230,000 miles on the clock… not bad for a 5 year old car!

I loved travelling, I’d give people lifts to random places in the country, just because I fancied a drive. Sometimes I’d just go random places, like Wales, because it seemed like a good idea at the time. I just enjoyed getting out and about, seeing new places and particularly big hills (hence the Wales bit!)

Then came MOT day, and for all its sins, there was no way Alex was going to pass his MOT. The bumper was falling off, the car would set on fire if you put the fan on setting 2, the back seats weren’t attached to the car, but that didn’t matter because the front seats were broke so you couldn’t get into the back anyway! The engine light was permanently on, the cigarette lighter didn’t work, if it rained, the engine didn’t work. Sometimes it’d be in a bad mood and decided that telling me how fast we were going was too much information! So, I didn’t even try to get it through… now Alex is in car heaven.

So that leaves me, the person who relied on her car for everything, with no car, and no way of getting a car (cars cost money). Just to add insult to injury, I then went and got a job 40 miles away, that involved 2 buses, 2 trains and almost 5 hours of my life each day, just travelling.

You know what? I loved it! That travelling time ment that I could actually catch up on TV, I could annoy everyone on Facebook and Twitter. I actually got more of a social life out of it since the travelling didn’t cost me any extra! Now that I’ve got no car, ironically I go to Manchester more often!

I might actually go as far as saying… I’m not sure I actually *want* another car! It’s too restrictive!

 

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